Weary Warrior

Every now and then, I get a little weary. I get frustrated with ministry, specifically, some days. It gets especially tough when it seems everything I'm shouting from the rooftops of my heart (dramatic, I know) is being ignored or getting drowned out by the sound of everything else. And I ask God, 'why did you ask me to do this? why did you bring me here? what IS the point of all this?' Sometimes, He answers. Sometimes, He doesn't and I'm left (poor choice of words, I know) to remind myself of what He said the last time. And that's so... something.

And I'm an only child, so being ignored is just about the last thing I ever want. But it happens. Often.  Maybe, that's why He allows it so often.  Lol. Grow up, Princess. "Don't grow weary in well-doing..." (Galatians 6:9) *grumble, grumble* But sometimes, that's so much easier said than done and sometimes I just wanna stay at home and let weariness keep me on the couch in my pajamas, watching Hallmark movies while I imagine a better, easier life Then, I remember that there's more work to do. And more personally, because it's been a big thought for me lately, I don't want to let down the little girls coming after me. No, this post isn't just for women. 

I also remember that this walk isn't just about my work, God's purpose for me, or how I feel in the moment. There are bigger things at stake. Spiritual warfare is ongoing, even if it doesn't seem like it. Even/especially if it seems like you've gotten a break from hard times or weird things, they're still happening. 

So, weary warrior... Four things to remember!

1. Weariness is not a sin against God. Consciously staying there against his wishes is. 
1. You know, I hate hearing people say that you're not supposed to ever get weary or that's a sin. It isn't. 
2. You're human. God knows that. He knew that you would not be strong enough to take on the world by yourself. In fact, that's often the reason for weariness, guys. Sometimes, we actually try to take on everything by ourselves. Bad idea, every time. 
3. You know God has better for you... better for your finances, better for your life, better for your family, better for your friends, better for your job, and better for your mind. Your humanness makes you susceptible to weariness and depression, so you might make it there. But don't unpack there and move in. God is always calling you to better. 
2. God's peace can and will sustain you through anything, but you've gotta try it/Him. 
1. The Bible tells us that God's peace surpasses all understanding. Have you ever tried God through a hostile situation? What happened? I bet He endowed you with peace as well as empowered you the ability to bring peace to the situation for others.
2. Some might say, 'well, I didn't feel it' or 'the situation didn't change.' 
1. Sometimes, peace isn't a feeling. Sometimes, it's knowing that God's still with you. Sometimes, you have to take the first step to receive peace; meaning, once you ask God for peace, He might be waiting for you to move out of the weariness space and into His space (where there is definitely peace). 
2. Sometimes, we don't accept peace, guys. Remember when I said that some days I'd rather stay on the couch. Honestly, sometimes I do. And I get chided for it, trust me. Lol. I'm getting better at it, I promise. But my point is that it doesn't matter how many times someone makes an effort to give you something if you don't make an effort to receive it. 
3. Keeping your wits about you is more than hard work. It's a part of the ongoing spiritual warfare happening daily. 
1. Your mind is a important part of this warfare and it can be a playground for whatever you let in there. Ask God to help you. He will. Every time. 
2. Part of your war effort is to set a good example for the warriors coming behind you. Part of the reason why the Church is in the state it's in, is because so many of us have left the task of setting a good example 24/7 up to someone else. And it's hard, I know, but very possible. 
3. Remember that there's more at stake in your mind and heart than feelings that are fleeting and passing thoughts that will surely be forgotten. 
4. David was most overwhelmed just before he was raised to the throne. 
1. Now, I'm not for prosperity preaching, so I hope this doesn't come off that way. But you should know that God will test you by allowing some bearable things to come against you before He rewards or 'enthrones' you in some way. 
2. God could be making sure that you can handle the cons that come with high placement, so "take heart..." (John 16:33)
5. Frustration may be a sign that you're seeing things with new eyes, seeing things through God's eyes. 
1. I think that if we live in this world and don't seeing anything wrong, there's something wrong with us. 
2. For a long time, I let people convince me that I was crazy for being frustrated with things that are wrong. I realize now that part of the reason I was so frustrated is because I was trying to reconcile knowing things were wrong with things that were wrong. The two just don't mix. 
3. When you know you've studying the Bible and meditating on God's Word and how to apply to your life and His work in and through you, don't ignore what you see through His eyes. Don't wear it on your sleeve, either. But use it to fuel your work in His kingdom and make things better. 

The next time you hear someone quote Galatians 6:9, remember that God is not disappointed in you for being sad or getting frustrated. And know that you're not the only one.👋 There must be some purpose behind hard times in the mind. Seek God in your weariness and you'll most definitely find that purpose and PEACE. 

Galatians 6:9 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."