"Whatever is inside of you, no matter how you try to hide it, will eventually come out." My pastor said this today during the message and it hit my heart. Hard. I never realized how angry I've been until I sat there, taking inventory of what's inside of me: anger and resentment. First, denial. 'That's not me... Is it?' I wondered if maybe I was just imagining things or taking something personal that wasn't. 'Nah, that's not me.' My mind is so fickle and I realize now how much work I need to do to get my mind more focused on God. Why? As soon as a self-assessment began in my mind, an egotistical something up there shut it down. It started tallying all the times I've prayed for people, showed up for people when no one else did, communicated when no one else did, set good examples, taught, sang, danced, and everything else. This tallying was supposed to convince me that I couldn't possibly be angry and resentful. '...
I'm still learning and growing and I always will be and I'm making peace with that. In the meantime, I'm getting to know The Father and just how much He loves us.