Overwhelmed

"I see the work of Your Hands
Galaxies spin in a Heavenly dance oh God
All that You are is so overwhelming

I hear the sound of Your Voice
All at once it’s a gentle and thundering noise oh God
All that You are is so overwhelming

I delight myself in You
Captivated by Your beauty
I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

God, I run into Your arms
Unashamed because of mercy
I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

I know the power of Your Cross
Forgiven and free forever You’ll be my God

All that You’ve done is so overwhelming
I delight myself in You
In the Glory of Your Presence
I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

God, I run into Your arms
Unashamed because of mercy
I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

You are Beautiful, You are Beautiful
Oh God, there is no one more Beautiful
You are Beautiful, God you are the most Beautiful

You are Wonderful, You are Wonderful
Oh God, there is no one more Wonderful
You are Wonderful, God You are the most Wonderful

You are Glorious, You are Glorious
Oh God, there is no one more Glorious
You are Glorious, God you are the most Glorious"

- "Overwhelmed" by Big Daddy Weave

 I could worship to this song for hours, especially after this weekend. I heard it every single day of last week and by Saturday night, I was calling my boyfriend in tears because I was "so overwhelmed! I don't get it. I didn't earn this grace and love and mercy and it all just keeps flowing. He keeps showing Himself in ways that are so amazing and almost unbelievable. And I believe He's only just getting started. He shows Himself in every area of my life and I'm just so grateful and overwhelmed. It's only Him, babe! He's the only one that could be doing all of these amazing things. He's the only one that could pull it off." All I did was surrender. 

     I saw my brother for the first time in almost 13 years. At first, I wasn't sure why I was so excited. We didn't talk nearly as often as probably should have and we grew up in two different states. But maybe, there's something to be said for a 'flesh and blood' connection. I have a big brother. I have an amazing big brother. I have an amazing big brother who really loves me and cares about me. 

     It's so hard to explain. Sitting down with him, I felt so comfortable and at ease. Listening to him, I felt like I was listening to someone read my journal to me. Being around him, I couldn't stop hugging him (Maybe Gary Chapman was right. Maybe, my love language is physical touch. Lol.) He's really here. And he really likes me. It's so funny to imagine that someone somewhere in the world has my chin and wears it almost as well as I do. Not only that, this person has a genuine interest in me. 

    We have so much in common: thoughts, feelings, experiences, chin, Dad (origin of said chin). I can't believe he smiles so much. He laughs at my jokes and seems really into what I'm saying. I can't wait to introduce him to my boyfriend. This isn't the same somber, big brother I met years ago. But then again, he did ask to hold my hand, back then. Maybe, I was too young to appreciate him. Oh, shoot! He's talking! What did he say? Lol. A glimpse into my thoughts... 

         My mentor always says, 'God works all the way around.' I believed it, but now I'm really beginning to see it. I came home, feeling like a failure. I could just hear all the voices back in DC, mocking me, talking about me as if they couldn't talk TO me if they were really concerned. But God said, don't worry about them, Princess. They talked about me, too. They'd talk about you, regardless. But I see it! I came home and I prayed for some things. I prayed for clarity, wisdom, reconciliation and closeness with God. God answered by saying, put me first. Your priorities are out of order. So, I rearranged some things in my life. I pursued God (without realizing that that was what I was doing) and kept at it. He kept beckoning me and beckoning me and beckoning me until I said, Wow, I want more. I need more. Fill me up. He kept beckoning and I started to get frustrated. I wanted to see promises fulfilled and He said, remember what I said. Seek me first. So, I did, and I forgot about the other things. But God didn't. 

     I got focused on school and youth ministry and practicing. Little did I know that as I focused on those things, God had already been working on some other things in my life and the lives of the people around me. Er go, it wasn't just the church that God has been reforming. It isn't just me that he's turning around. My father isn't the only one reaching out to their kids. I'm not the only one starting a new relationship with a sibling. My mother isn't the only one seeing their kid in a new light. I'm not the only one seeing crazy-amazing grace and mercy in the areas of school, finances, love and family. 

     Is it that... ? Nooo.. Could it be? Seeking God first really does change your circumstance and certainly your perspective. I just didn't get it, I guess. God keeps shining through every rainstorm and heavily cloudy day. Speaking of which, what is UP with the rainstorms this summer? Is Georgia overdue or something? *clears throat* No complaints, though, Lord. Lol. 

     The most beautiful part of it all is seeing God for who He really is. He's a God who doesn't just sit around, making up rules for people and waiting for them to break them. It's hard to imagine, I know. Someone actually cares so much about you that if you earnestly seek him, He will avail Himself to you. It doesn't matter what position you hold at your job or in your church or anywhere [as long as you don't lose the muscle memory of the prayer position]. God is not concerned with that. He only wants your heart. People like to say things like, 'He also wants you to do certain things... Faith without works is dead.' Yada yada yah. Think about it this way: One of the biggest ways God illustrates His love for us is comparing Christ as our Savior to a Bridegroom and we, His people, or the Church to His Bride. If we are His bride and He is our Bridegroom, we're in love or something, right? And what do you do when you're in love? You serve that person, I think. I believe that when you reeeally love someone, you want to please them and do what you can and sometimes what you can't to make sure that they're okay and cared for and loved. You'll go to the ends of the earth to see their needs met and their wants fulfilled [within the scope of what you know would benefit them. REAL LOVE CHECK.] So...? I serve God. I live for Him and His steadfast love. He feeds me and I yearn and I yearn and He feeds me. 

     I don't honestly know my brother's spiritual "situation," but I do know that my Father loves Him as much as He loves me. I know that I the more I pray, the more God listens. I also know that I may not have fully explained the miracle of this weekend, seeing my brother, beginning a new relationship with him, but maybe that isn't needed. Maybe, friends, you should try Him in the area of family and friends and promises that He's made to you and yours.  So what does all this this have to do with my amazing big brother and our chin? God keeps His promises. He promised me peace, clarity, grace, love and security. And I'm receiving it all in a cup with His name forever printed on the side, running over like living water. It glows, even. Light. Love. Life. It never ends. He works all the way around. God doesn't just work in one area at a time. Trust me God.